PJ: What if I have cancer?
Mom: Then we'll deal with it.
PJ: What if I have terminal cancer?
Mom: Then I would be very sad. Why are you asking these questions?
PJ: Because my neck hurts whenever I look left.

Troi: Mom, my neck hurts. I can't look right.
PJ: You've never looked right.

PJ: You are by far the most exaggerating person I know.

-family playing Jenga-
PJ: It's going to fall.
-tower falls-
PJ: I'm pycho!

PJ: -barging through the door- I'm going to need your help, Troi!
Troi: Why?
PJ: Because I stabbed myself in ceramics!
Troi: Well, stop panicking and let's pull it out. -reaches over to pull it out-
PJ: -cringing away and protecting his hand- No! It's going to hurt and bleed all over the place.
Troi: -rolling her eyes- Well, you're going to have to pull it out. Just do it quick.
PJ: -gritting his teeth and pulling it out- Oh. Why was I even panicking?

PJ: -dishing corn onto his plate- I'm adopted to corn!